A little, TLC via TLC.

I have a confession to make.. I just freaking love trashy reality TV.. It’s my favourite guilty pleasure.

There is something oddly tribal about reality TV, something philosophical, like Plato’s cave. We watch the sublime shadows of other people’s lives. It connects us to the collective. I really like it.

I am obsessed with 90-day fiancé. It’s got it all: love, bravery, culture shock, risk, drama, empathy, and judgment. You also get to travel the world with it and poke your mind and heart into another culture for a while. Scratch that. It’s better because you get to be in on the “goss” and watch hearts and cultures collide. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. It has me on the edge of my seat. Best of all its my favourite type of cringy.

A train wreck that you cannot look away from. I know there are overly-produced moments. But, for the most part, they are lovely flawed humans. You get to scandalize over it.. I like that folks often go on the show because they are the type of people who want to be on a show like that. I can judge away without guilt, as there participation is consent.

Im embarrassed about how easily hooked I got on shows like Love is Blind. When Jessica shared her wine with the dog, and nobody blinked an eye.. train wreck, the most fun-hearted trainwreck.

My favourite show back in the day was Wife Swap, and there was another one.. called.. trading Spouses. One of them is set in the UK. I always preferred it. The couple’s arguments felt more authentically firey than the American. Wife Swap gets two ideologically opposed families and collides them. The new “wife” tries to protect the new family based on her own values.. dynamite in a can or TV show, as it were. It was a 90s show and like all trends past and present.. there are some problematic aspects but was still a super fun watch.

These windows into other lives fascinate me no end. It feels tribal. Something in me feels like we are sharing stories of our communities through gossip, Albiet on TV.

I grow attached to what happens to these flawed, brave-hearted people. All of these human experience shows, like 1000lb Life, The block, Love on the Spectrum, etc.—have one thing in common. You grow to care for the people and become invested in their happiness. Their drama makes me feel gratitude for life. They give me the gift of lifting some anxiety off my heart, just for a while, I feel anxious for them… not me.

Another obsession of the reality tv genre is true crime. Its messed up but It relaxes me to binge-watch murder documentaries. The more messed up, the better. I like getting a peek at the monsters that look just like you and me, the scenarios we might find them in. I scan them, looking for signs of empathy. I study what I might miss. It helps me feel like I have studied the enemy. Training my gut on how to avoid the wolves among us.

I like that these documentaries convey some of the systematic changes that need to be considered. Policy changes. “Peeping Tom” is such a friendly phrase. I looked it up and found that the term comes from the legend of Lady Godiva. Tom, was the only one who peeped as she rode her horse through town naked to protest unjust taxes. A literal goddess. . I just watched one documentry on Netflix called American Nightmare.. The story is truly vile. It’s about not believing women, a violent offender, systemic negligence, and media abuse. It’s a story about living with the effects of violence and a culture ill-equipped to support abuse victims. In short the guy could have been stopped years ago by police before going on to hurt more severely, but had “only” been charged as a Peeping Tom. I think Peeping Tom should be named something that conveys to law enforcement the violence that it actually is. True crime helps me understand policies and change and systematic flaws.

I also really like true crime like, the world toughest prisons, and there is one on Prime called Never seen again, about missing people, and another on Disney called Trafficked, all about black market industries and how they work, that is so well done.. Just.. I like true crime stuff.

Me and my husband like food and bake off shows. Dr. Suess Bake, Cutthroat Kitchen, the Great Pumpkin Challenge, American BBQ Champions. Somebody feel fill, etc. We like the good-heartedness of it, of watching someone try. They try their heart out and usually have fun.. are they always the best at it? Have they even ever tried to do the thing before? Usually no. It’s kind of wonderful to be around that energy for a show or two. People are just trying, and at something so wholesome too. It just always puts me in a good mood.

My husband and I  often eat dinner and watch a show together. We pick one show and we have dinner. Often they are baking shows. Lately, I have roped him into 90 Day. It connects us and provides us with our own shared couple behavior and routines. I suspect this will be a ritual we will grow old together doing.. dinner and a show. Safe .together. – just saying, I love a good ritual.

In short. guilty pleasures need not be so guilty.. as long as you are sure that you actually like them.

So, there you have it—my confession and exploration of the world of reality TV. From the guilty pleasure of judging others to a fascination with other cultures, there’s something about these shows that captivates me. Whether we find comfort in the familiar or seek insights into the darker corners of humanity, reality TV offers a unique glimpse into the human experience. So, don’t be ashamed to embrace your guilty pleasure—after all, we all deserve a little escape and connection in our lives.

OH, and.. How could I forget the BEST of reality tv.. vintage New Zealand TV.. This was and remains my top favorite.. Neighbours at war. was a show that takes you into the world of feuding neighbours.. Just.. the best.

Be Kind out there.

Best,

Fran